“That’s what I love about high school girls, I get older, they stay the same age.”
- Matthew McConaughey’s character in Dazed & Confused
Women in general are fascinating because one minute, they can be the source of great pleasure for men. Then the next minute, they can make you miserable. Guys, it’s time to give back the same sort of treatment.
Let’s say you are a 25-27 year old man. You have a decent-paying job. You are a decent looking guy. Sure you could use more money, you could always be happier, but in general, things are not that bad. Come Friday night, you go out with your buddies to your local watering hole, looking to a meet a chick. And yet, you seem to fail in your attempts.
Naturally you might start to doubt yourself. The women you want to meet, the good-looking ones with personality seem to ignore you. Meanwhile the only females who seem willing to talk to you are overweight; older women euphimistically named milf who keep one eye on you and the other on your unfinished plate of chicken fingers.
Gentlemen, unless you have a complete and utter lack of social skills (and if you fit that description, just stay the fuck home and out of our way, you take up valuable space at the bar) I’d like to think that eventually you’ll meet someone. But why go the conventional route? Why this post-college urge to suddenly “mature?” If you are 32 and looking to settle down, that’s fine. But if you are 25, what’s the rush? Why go for some girl your own age, some twat whose interest in you is dependent on your bank account balance?
To date 18 year old girls is like getting in on the ground floor of a good neighborhood before it gets overrun by hipster, trendy faggots. 18-year-old girls are young and freshly scrubbed. They are not yet wise in the ways of the world.(Translation=Naïve) Even if they’re in college, they probably haven’t put on the dreaded “freshman 15” yet. (And if they have, dump their dumb ass, they should know better)
Think about it, we all knew that one girl in college. She was hot, but got treated like shit by some meathead. Eventually she got some self –esteem, and now only dates older, more mature men, men who will treat her right. Men who will pay for everything, and won’t smack her around in a drunken rage when they lose cash on the Super Bowl.
AVOID THIS KIND OF GIRL AT ALL COSTS!!!!
Leave this particular kind of muff to the older man who is willing to put up with her so long as she won’t reveal the affair to his wife. Rather, go for the 18 (And I stress 18, don’t commit statutory) year old chick who is so thrilled about dating an older guy that she is willing to overlook certain flaws, like your habit of not calling when you say you will.
In general, (and I know this from experience) the 18-year old is willing to please. She’ll put out whenever you want it. Chances are, she’ll probably be tighter and more willing to please than a girl your age. OK that might be a stretch considering teens are having a lot of sex these days, but even if she’s not a virgin, so what? Date her anyway. Occasionally show her your experience in bed by giving her an orgasm. Biff from her Bio class probably would not know how to do that.
If you ask, she’ll cancel her plans for a movie and then ice cream at Friendly’s with the cheerleading squad to come cook you dinner. So what if she’s too young to remember the Reagan administration?
You will actually be doing this girl a favor by dating her. Her friend Becky might be dating the star HS quarterback, but what’s she going to do when he gets grounded? You don’t have that problem. Plus, your young piece of ass will be the coolest girl in homeroom when she reveals she’s dating someone who is actually old enough to get into bars.
That leads me to my next point. If you date the 18-year-old, she won’t be able to get into bars. If she has a fake ID, discourage her to use it. Warn her that to do so is to risk a long prison sentence. This way, you can go hang out with your buddies and get loaded, and possibly cheat on this girl, and she’ll never be the wiser. While you are out doing body shots off some girl who just turned 21; your chick will be at home picking out a prom dress.
Or you could go the opposite route. If she has a fake ID that actually works, bring her out. Encourage her to dress like an extra in a Britney Spears video. Make your buddies envious. Emphasize that you are saving your own money to buy a house, and that she’ll have to dip into her babysitting cash to buy you beers. Either way you win.
If after reading this, you are ready to date a younger chick, I wish you luck. Eventually the appeal might wear off and you might find yourself wanting more than hot sex and love letters written from Home Ec class. When that happens, don’t feel ashamed. It’s the maturity blues kicking in. Until then, run, don’t walk to your nearest mall and start scouting out potential conquests. Lure them in with promises of TRL tickets if you must. Just don’t be a jackass and go for the 16-year olds, yeah that shit will probably be tight, but its also illegal. And it’s not worth a prison sentence. 18 is young enough. Just remember young and dumb equals more fun.
I thought it might be helpful to put down some definitions to words that we throw around constantly but might mean nothing to the lay-person.
The Dictionary of Serving
Weeds (in the weeds) - To be “weeded” is to be so extremely busy that you don’t even know what needs to be done. As a server this is the ultimate fear, because at this point you have some much to do that you seem to be perpetually behind or in slow motion. (Also known as being “under”).
Camper - A camper is someone who sits at a table long after they have overstayed their welcome. If you have your check, have paid your check, or are just malingering at a table and talking without regard to time, you are camping. Leave! If you want to have a meeting, get a conference room.
Turning Tables - Servers earn their money by serving as many tables as possible during their shift, we call this “turning” tables. Get them in, sit them down, feed them, get them out, and get somebody new in… all as efficiently as possible. If you are camping you are preventing us from turning our tables and hence we lose money.
Running - To run a server is to continue to send them on pointless errands every time they come to your table. It can also include sending them on a new errand as soon as they return from fulfilling your previous request. For example, you ask for a drink, and when they return with your drink from the bar you ask them for more napkins, a glass of water, etc. which could have been gotten while they went for your original drink. The only thing that pisses off a server more than a shitty tip is to be ran.
Deuce - A table of two. There’s nothing wrong with a deuce…. unless it’s sitting at a table for four.
’X’-top - An “X”-top simply is the number of people sitting at a table. Hence, a 4-top is a table of four, a 10-top is a table of ten, etc.
Double-tip - Many restaurants include gratuity on their checks, usually for larger parties, but some chains will do it for parties as few as 4 or 6. When you leave a tip on top of this pre-determined gratuity, you are double-tipping the server. Keep doubling us up, it’s our bread & butter!
Double-sat - To be sat with two tables simultaneously. This is usually the host or hostesses fault, but can be caused by somebody requesting a specific table, which throws off the seating rotation. It’s a quick and easy way to find yourself in the weeds.
Pre-bus - The clearing of plates, side-plates, empty glasses, bottles, etc. It is a way to clear room on the table for the next course, to encourage you to eat faster, and to help the busboys get our tables cleaned and set more quickly.
Which server environment is more secure? Windows or Linux? This question has been debated to the nth degree at the various computer forums, blogs, and numerous other places.
A study conducted by Security Innovation may give a more definitive answer, although it will probably just re-ignite the old arguments. In an extensive white paper, the Security Innovation team compared, amongst other things, the number of vulnerabilities each server environment faced. The study also compared the amount of time a security risk remained a risk to the server setup in question.
This was done in order to determine which environment was most at risk. In order to present solid findings, the team tested their data under the different installation configurations available. The white paper offers cumulative results and they may surprise some readers.
Among other things, the study concludes:
“On balance, as security practitioners, we know that both the Red Hat and Microsoft solutions can be used to provide a secure solution when deployed and administered with the right skills and under the right policy. Based upon both counts/lifecycles of bugs and the absence/presence of qualitative drivers of security, it appears that Microsoft may have an edge in many environments.
Put another way, looking at the software security factors that each vendor has the ability to directly affect - software security quality and security response - the data shows that a web server workload built using Windows Server 2003 has fewer security vulnerabilities requiring customer mitigation or patching than a similar workload built on Red Hat Enterprise Linux.”
Microsoft potentially safer than Linux? The reaction should be quite interesting.
PS: Security Innovation runs IIS 5.0
Sixteen years ago this week, the Exxon Valdez oil spilled 11 million gallons of oil in Alaska’s Prince William Sound and horrified Alaska and the world.
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer is running a special series on
the environmentally precarious state of modern oil-tanker transport.
Some key findings of its investigation: Post-Valdez initiatives
intended to reduce crew hours, require more tug escorts for tankers,
and crack down on alcohol use are all regularly dodged. Many West
Coast officials have been lobbying to loosen tug-escort rules meant
to help shepherd tankers safely to port. Also, even 16 years later,
Exxon still hasn’t double-hulled any of its Alaskan tankers. And
even modern double-hulled tankers are still vulnerable to spills thanks to human fallibility.
Interviews with crew members and internal company documents reveal serious safety lapses on vessels that are considered to be the best tankers in the world.
“…The stakes are very high. ConocoPhillips ships each carry nearly 38 million gallons of oil into some of Washington’s most delicate waters.Experts say a spill of just 1 million gallons in any portion of Western Washington’s waterway would be impossible to control and would devastate wildlife, fishing, commerce, tourism, ferry traffic and the daily enjoyment of the state’s most precious asset for months, perhaps years….”Read More..
Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Eric Nalder
After some buzz bounced around the Internet for a spell, “Washington Whispers,” a column that appears in U.S. News and World Report, published the rumor that actor Denzel Washington had written a check “on the spot” to finance the construction of a third housing facility near Brooke Army Medical Center.
This was said to have occurred after Denzel toured an Army hospital in Texas.
A spokeswoman for the Maryland-based Fisher House told U.S. News that Washington had “offered support and compassion.” But the article indicated that the actor’s representative differed on one point, claiming that “he [Denzel] did not write a check on the spot.”
The plans for the military housing facility were already in progress when the actor visited in December, according to sources, which also confirm that Washington has committed to contribute a significant sum to the project.For refinance for Common Interest Developments(CID)
A recent security threat report issued by Symantec.com detailed a number of the threats facing computer and Internet users in their travels.
The most prevalent threats are apparently those that attempt to steal identity-related information like phishing attacks. Arthur Wong, vice president of Symantec Security Response and Managed Security Services, says, Attackers are launching increasingly sophisticated attacks in an effort to compromise the integrity of corporate and personal information.”
As indicated, the report details these threats and discusses the attacks making use of the various methods:
Rise in Threats to Confidential Information
The report indicates threats to confidential information represented 54 percent of the top 50 malicious code samples received by Symantec. Trojan horses are the primary vehicles of this type of attack.
Steady Increase in Phishing Attacks
This one is the biggie. Symantec’s report reveals phishing attacks are up an astounding 366%. “By the end of December 2004, Symantec Brightmail AntiSpam antifraud filters were blocking an average of 33 million phishing attempts per week, up from an average of 9 million per week in July 2004.” Unfortunately, Symantec expects this trend to continue its increase.
Increase in Attacks Against Web Applications
According to Symantec, “Nearly 48 percent of all vulnerabilities documented between July 1 and Dec. 31, 2004 were Web application vulnerabilities.” Because web apps are approved by firewalls (in order to access the Internet), the security characteristics are avoided. Web application attacks include exploiting vulnerable web browsers.
Rise in Number of Windows Virus/Worm Variants
Because of the proliferation of Windows-based computer environments, the number of viruses and malicious programs targeting Microsoft’s software continue to grow at an accelerated rate. Symantec’s report reveals, “From July 1 to Dec. 31, 2004, Symantec documented more than 7,360 new Windows 32 virus and worm variants. This represents an increase of 64 percent over the previous six-month period. As of Dec. 31, 2004, the total number of documented Windows 32 threats and their variants was approaching 17,500.”
Increase in Severe, Easy-to-Exploit, Remotely Exploitable Vulnerabilities
With the increase in attacks based solely on executable programs and code, the ease of getting these programs to perform their malicious duties has also increased. Symantec indicates, “70 percent were considered easy to exploit, which means that either no custom code is required to exploit the vulnerability or that such code is publicly available. Compounding this problem is that nearly 80 percent of all documented vulnerabilities in this reporting period are remotely exploitable, which likely increases the number of possible attackers.”Related.My-Snort.org
