Witnesses are telling Australian news that Liz Hurley was trying to join the mile-high club on a recent British Airways flight
Witnesses and crew members on a British Airways flight are reporting that the lovely Elizabeth Hurley tried to get a bit too friendly with her millionaire lover Arun Nayar. The first class cabin off their newest planes contain beds for passengers to sleep in. And apparently, they are roomy enough for two.

It started with a lingering goodnight kiss, but turned a bit more intimate as Hurley reportedly slid under the covers with Nayar and wrapped her arms around him. At that point, a passing crew member coughed at them to make them aware that they were not alone.

A British Airways spokesperson said, “She was all over him and the crew were worried that, unless someone coughed, the pair would have joined the mile-high club and be in a class of their own.

“In the end there was no bonking but it was a close call. Once she knew that people had seen her, Liz got out from under his duvet and returned to hers.”

Hurley’s publicist denied the story was true, claiming that Hurley wasn’t even on the plane, but sources at New York’s Kennedy airport remember them boarding the flight.

One way or the other, with beds on airplanes, our dreams of flying whore houses are only a stone’s throw away from becoming a reality.

Where To Go To Find What You’re Looking For… Naked Women!

Female Entertainers pt. 1 by : Strawberry

So many pixels… so few brains…
Welcome! For the next few weeks we will be spot lighting the hottest strip clubs across the good old USA. This week our journey will take us to such cities as Las Vegas, Fargo, Dallas, Austin and Atlanta. Don’t automatically assume that if you don’t live near one of these cities that this week’s feature story doesn’t pertain to you. As some of us have learned, it was a real eye opener as to how much we got off and ripped off at strip clubs here at home. You could be single, dating, engaged, married or divorced to enjoy a strip club. In most states providing you are over 18 and in some cases where alcohol is served 21, you need only pay a cover charge and you are in. These days you don’t even have to be a man to visit a Gentleman’s Club. Women too, flock to see the hottest stage starlets in their area for the opportunity of putting a dollar in a g-string and, for a moment, living a fantasy. However, whether you truly get your money’s worth or not depends on how well balanced the service is vices how ‘friendly’ the girls are. Our first hot spot this week takes us to the sizzling south in the glamour capital of the West Coast, Las Vegas, Nevada. Are you going there on business? Planning your vacations for this year? Perhaps, you are fortunate enough to live in the deemed ‘City of Sin’? Or maybe you needed one more reason to go to Las Vegas. Well here it is – Déjà vu Showgirls at 3247 Industrial Avenue in Las Vegas is among the most happening strip clubs in Casino City but it’s one of the few ones where you actually get your money’s worth. The girls are phenomenal in every way imaginable. Here you will find women that have both natural and implant breasts. The variety of women is astounding. There is something sexy in almost every shape and size just waiting for you at Déjà vu Showgirls. So, make sure you go to Déjà vu the next time you are in Las Vegas. You won’t be disappointed. Well, I imagine this is why some say once you’ve been to Texas you’ll never be the same.Is as as good as girls gone wild. Whether you’re in Texas for business or for pleasure or if you happen to be lucky enough to live near Dallas or Houston you’ll definitely want to venture off to the Men’s Club. Although by comparison to some clubs in other cities, this could be considered a high-end strip club – it is without a doubt worth every dollar you’ll spend there. At any given time there are as many as 400 young and beautiful female entertainers, that are ready and willing to show you a good time. This is a no-hassle strip club. So you can enjoy your beer without being bothered every two minutes for a dance. But there are also, up to 400 dancers at any given time, as I mentioned before, so finding someone to dance for you is easy, quick and simple. This place is all about fine cuisine, fine cigars, fine wine and fine women.

She plays a mean zone defense
So, are you facing another cold winter in North Dakota? Are you wondering why I am even asking that? Well, because our next featured strip club is Club Northern in Fargo, North Dakota. Yes, I said Fargo North Dakota. If the low prices aren’t enough to make you stop on in then maybe telling you what this place has, will. First off the prices are extremely low and the quality is extremely high. This place is the place to be. Nowhere else have I seen a place that gives you so much for so little. Such as, topless waitresses, excellent food, Harley give aways, 2 for 1 drinks all the time – YES all the time! Not to mention the pool tables, the casino and let us not forget to mention the hot looking strippers that satisfy all taste buds. Did I mention the XXX porn star features that they have on almost a weekly basis? When I tell you this place has everything – it has everything. I know, who would have thought there would be a reason to go to Fargo, North Dakota. Well, I just gave you one. Our last stop this week takes us to Atlanta, Georgia to the famous Fanny’s Show Bar where there is full nudity and a full bar – something a lot of nude clubs we’ve had checked out don’t have. They offer wide screen televisions, free secured parking, reasonable charges and 2 for 1 lap dances every Tuesday – all day and all night. It’s conveniently located just 10 to 15 minutes from the downtown Atlanta area. Although they don’t have an extremely large amount of dancers working at one time, they are for the most part very attractive women. We couldn’t mention Atlanta without mentioning the Coronet Club. This is a nude club that allows you to bring your own alcohol. There are no membership charges. However, there is a small entrance charge for bringing in your own alcohol. This is one club that has two separate areas. One features female entertainers and the other features male entertainers. This is a perfect concept for those of you who have a girlfriend and/or wife who pester you about leaving them home alone to go to a strip club. Enter together as a couple and the alcohol entrance fee is waived. Once inside, go your separate ways and enjoy the evening alone or with friends. It’s an exotic strip club for both sexes – what a perfect concept. So, there you have it. We’ll have more hot spots for you next week. If you want us to spotlight a strip club in your area let us know by sending us an email with some information about the place and we’ll have it checked out. Who knows, you’re favorite strip club could be featured here in the Strawberry Patch in the weeks to come – no pun intended.

With Valentine’s Day just so recently behind us, I decided this week to tackle the subject of love. I was sitting at my stool the other night and watching the young girls, like I usually do. Many of them were flying solo, preferring the comfort of a close female friend and a bottle of Smirnoff Ice to the calloused hand of a broad shouldered man and the smell of his cologne getting all over her clothes. So many of them seemed happy, I mean genuinely happy, like kids playing duck, duck, goose for the first time and sitting there filled with anticipation of that burst of energy that would spring them from their cross-legged position into action, trying to catch the kid who tapped them, yelled goose, and then ran around the circle trying to get back to the empty spot on the gym floor before he or she was tagged. There was something genuine, more genuine than if I had seen them with some guy, that was hanging in the air amongst the single women in the bar that night.

The single men were drunk by 9:30. They patted each other’s backs and stared longingly at the women, wondering how long it would take each one of them, as an individual, to get each girl in the group of single women naked, making out with one another, and then screwing him silly before he had to go to work the next morning. They made attempts to break into the groups of girls; offering to buy drinks, asking for phone numbers, pretending that their buddy behind them pushed them so they could A) cop a feel of leg, breast, or ass and B) look macho when they told a guy off (who they had known since grade school). There was nothing genuine about the men.

So how do I know, when I return to the bar after my hockey game on Valentine’s Day, that I will see men and women who genuinely love one another if, when on their own, they are so different? I know because love is that drug we become addicted to the first time we kiss someone we think we love. It is that innocence of a first loving kiss, and the loss of that innocence all at the same time. It’s electric; a moment when we realize everything we thought a first kiss should be couldn’t even measure up to what it really was.

On Valentine’s Day, the single women will have found a single man, and the date might go poorly, and they might spend too much money, and they might not get everything out of the date that they had hoped they would get (lesbian sexcapades being near the top of the men’s list), but the moment they realize they are with someone on Valentine’s Day…there will be something genuine in the air between men and women. It will be a moment when I glance around the room and realize that, even the people who are miserable on their date, will still, even after the griping and bitching about how awful the date was, be happy that they were with someone and not without.

Enjoy the moment. It may seem imperfect, contrived, unnatural at some basic, hormonal level…but it will be a moment to realize that there is something genuine and fun about love and fun about what brings two completely opposite sexes together. Then bring two of your sexiest girlfriends down to the end of the bar, get naked, and make out for me.
By Bourbon

While celebrities can’t always be avoided, they can certainly be ridiculed. When I think of celebrities who can’t ever shut up and be thankful for what they have, it makes me angry. And since a homicide-frenzy is not socially acceptable, this column is my outlet. I hate different celebrities for different reasons, but they will all have a turn in the proverbial barrel.

The Hollywood Hamburger
Tired of the typical crap that you have seen smeared on your local movie screen? So am I. Movies have become products designed for mass consumption rather thantelling a story or presenting a point. Movies are mass-produced to demographicslike beef slapped onto a bun in the local fast-food chain. Quality cinema andstorytelling has been replaced by the need to cut a profit. The Hollywood Hamburger is thrown onto your local movie screens every week. Does it taste thesame? Does it fill your belly? Or does it shoot out your ass with a bullet?

Know Your Enemy
You’re Guide To Classifying Hollywood Hamburgers
by Syd Jefferies
To divulge further into the world of Hollywood Hamburgers, it is important to know the different kinds out there. All burgers are not the same. Some Hamburgers you can tolerate because they make no mistake of what they are. Even yet some actually have a nice taste to them, and you appreciate them for the swill they are. Then, there are manipulative burgers specifically dressed up to be more than what they are. These devious ruses have the sole purpose to lure you to waste your money thinking your buying a juicy sirloin. For your own benefit here is a rundown of the different types of Hollywood Burgers:

Plain Hamburger- Here is your most basic Hollywood Hamburger. You know what this is the second you see the preview that is tagged unfortunately on the beginning of your Blockbuster video rental. Or you can see some of these films that are selected on USA on a Friday or Saturday late night. Little thought goes into neither the production nor the marketing. Quite often these films go straight to your local video rack.
Examples- Ski Patrol, Break’n, Up the Creek Mainstay Actors- Tim Matheson, Patrick Dempsey, Lorenzo Lamas

Plain Cheeseburger – This cheese filled burger is very closely related to the Plain Hamburger. But, there in this case there are “cheesy” incentives to lure you waste your money. That being, either a famous comedian or a comedy troupe member happens to be in the starring role. But, don’t let this fool you the script is still written by a no talent hack of a writer. Examples – Corky Romano, A Night at the Roxbury, Funny Farm
Mainstay Actors – Chevy Chase, Chris Kattan, Dan Aykroyd

Double Cheeseburger – These are pretty much are just higher budget Cheeseburgers. Higher the star power, a bit better writing. It’s both double the cheese but also double the meat.
Examples – National Lampoon’s Vacation, Uncle Buck, Ace Ventura
Mainstay Actors – John Candy, Rick Moranis, Steve Martin

Bacon Double Cheeseburger – Now these are your cut above, of those prior burgers. They have an extra flavor to them that make them quite tasty. Make no mistake, this is still Hollywood cheese straight off the grill. But, the Producers sell this for what it is, there is no extra dressings or disguises. These are usually both well-written and some great comedic acting.
Examples – Ghost Busters, Caddyshack, Animal House
Mainstay Actors – Bill Murray, Mike Myers, John Belushi

Steak-Ums – These are your typical action packed pieces of fried slop with lots of fillings. The fillings serve to hide the fact that there is barely any meat on this sandwich. Film companies love to sell these as steaks, but they usually don’t fool anyone other than your typical foolish teenybopper.
Examples – Escape from LA, Time Cop, Hard to Kill
Mainstay Actors – Wesley Snipes, Steven Seagal. Jean-Claude Van Damme

The Whopper – This common type of scum burger is designed solely to take your money. High budget, big stars, and no story, all the perks. This is the mass produced piece of crap that the marketing department tells you is the next Star Wars and then they film all those wannabe actors coming out of the theatre in the commercial telling you just that. Beware the Whopper!
Examples – End of Days, Gone in 60 Seconds, Battlefield Earth, Deep Blue Sea
Mainstay Actors – Nicolas Cage, John Travolta, Sylvester Stallone

The Mega-Whopper – Take a Whopper, triple the budget double the star power, quadruple the special effects. Then, simmer and serve and don’t forget to have a barf bag handy.
Examples – Armageddon, Independence Day, Pearl Harbor, Titanic
Mainstay Actors – Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, Will Smith

The Big Kahuna Burger – This burger is the diamond in the rough. It may be high budget with plenty or perks, but even under all those condiments, you still have a big slab beef. Now don’t get me wrong this is no steak, but if you have a hankering for fast food, this is the most bang for your buck. And, this burger is quite tasty despite the special effects and ludicrous budget.
Examples – Lethal Weapon 1 & 4, Die Hard, Crimson Tide, Aliens
Mainstay Actors – Mel Gibson, Denzel Washington, Alan Rickman.Related Adult Celeb Site

The Hollywood Hamburger article and logos are property of Syd Jefferies
Copyright 2002