by: Strawberry
It can be done if you keep in mind several important issues.
“Breaking up is hard to do” is more than just baby boomer song lyrics – It’s a common reality for many in the dating world. Couples after couples still find that it’s the most awkward moment that they will ever have to encounter. Well if you think it “feels bad” to say “we’re over” think about how the person you are saying that to feels. Many people never really know why someone is breaking up with them and it’s those unanswered questions that have turned many into psychotic stalkers. So read on and learn how you can let go and help heal a broken heart at the same time. Oh and women, I suggest you keep reading love stories. This can help you too.

Well everything is wrong. Feelings have changed. Maybe you found someone else or maybe you realized the person you are dating just isn’t “it”. Either way you have to tell that person. Sure it’s easier to change your phone number, find a new group of friends or fake your own death but it’s not something you would want done to you. Rejection hurts, regardless of how well spoken it may be but telling the person why is better than not returning their phone calls. So be polite and courteous and explain the reason, if you can, as to why you feel the relationship isn’t going to work.

Be polite. I can’t stress that enough. The slightest comment that can be taken as harsh criticism will only lead you to having to deal with this person for months and months on end and their anger. So, if the relationship is moving in a wrong direction or you are no longer attracted to them – tell them. Don’t give them some “I’m in a different place in my life right now” line, it’s retarded and the person will see right through it.

Breaking up, I feel, is easier if you agree on some key issues.

~ Such as, will the friendship remain? It can. There’s no reason for it not to unless the reason you are leaving the person is because they have been physically or mentally or even sexually abusive to you. Is sexually abusive even a reason to leave someone? I mean the person is trying to make sex interesting and you choose to walk out on them? What nerve! Anyway as I was saying, if you had a great friendship before hand then I don’t see what positive outcome you can have by ending it completely.

~ How will we be friends? This is an important one. Set a guideline. Are you going to be best buddies? Just a shoulder to cry on? Just another friend to have a beer with? If you want to keep the friendship you have to decide on what scale to keep it on. Does friendship mean just being civil whenever you see one another or do you want to take it a step up and communicate on a regular basis? Discuss it and if you don’t want any sort of friendship then this would be the time to say it.

~ Will you keep the same friends? Sure, you can still hang with the same group of people if you both choose to and if you don’t – then don’t. But that’s your decision to make either collectively or separately. BUT, whatever you do don’t put your friends in the middle. They didn’t date the person so why should they have to choose which friendship to end because you decided to end a relationship.

~ How long until the significant other comes around? If you choose to keep the friendship then respect it and the fact that you dated this person for whatever amount of time. So before you bring along Mr. Right or Miss. Hottypants to the next get together discuss it. This doesn’t mean ASK! You are no longer attached to your ex so don’t ask “Can I bring … to the club?” instead say “I wanted you to know that I am bringing … to the club.” Let your ex decide whether or not they can deal with seeing you with someone else. As harsh as this may sound, it’s not your problem and your dating activities with your new love should not revolve around your old one.

Well my little heart breaker, now you’ve learned some guidelines for letting that once so wonderful person go BUT what if you’re on the other side of it? How will you handle the rejection? Hmmm, well I think you need a few do’s and don’t yourself. So make sure you come back soon to read them.

Underwear
by McBourbon
A young lady asked me the other night what kind of underwear I had on. Since I was on my seventh Black and Tan (the tall 22oz ones) I had not yet forgotten what I was wearing and answered “boxer briefs.” She smiled and then shared this seemingly intimate info with her table of friends, who all looked over smiling and discussing my choice in undergarments.

So I got to thinking about underwear. And first, since it was the subject at hand, I thought about men’s underwear. For us guys, we’ve got some alternatives. First of all, there are the tried and true Tighty Whities. These staples of men’s underwear should, however, be removed from your wardrobe the minute you have the opportunity to tell your mother to fuck herself…you won’t wear them anymore. They are the single biggest sex-kill known to femininity and will usually warrant a pretty severe laughing at should you get to a point where a girl would actually mercy-fuck you. I say mercy-fuck because most guys who are still wearing tighty whities in their twenty’s or even thirty’s are pretty much resigned to mercy-fucks anyway. In fact, anything white should be dispensed with immediately.Nothing worse than having a girl dedak you on the throes of passion and her having a face frontal witha juicy fresh brown stain.

Fuck this is a gay ass picture, what were we thinking?
Another alternative is the bikini, and although it is popular among gay European men, we have no need for striped or zebra printed underwear cut high on the sides in this country. Sure, male porn stars of the seventies popularized this undergarment, but unless you still have a mustache and that douchebag helmet for a hairstyle with the part down the middle and the “feathered” sides…try to lay off the weed, get out of the VW bus, and realize it’s …we do things a little differently now.

Boxers are the next alternative for us men, and chicks love these as much as we do. They’re good for built in air conditioning, keeping our sperm count high, and easy access should we need to get the hog out of the pen in a hurry. They come in all styles and prints, including plain white if you’re in that transference time from the TW’s to the boxers, and they can even be matched with holiday themes or seasonal ones. Even if you’re not wearing them…this should always be the answer when asked what kind of underwear you’re wearing…more about that later.

These pictures can’t get any more homo-erotic.
Finally, I myself prefer the boxer brief. The Hanes bike shorts looking, Michael Jordan wearing u-trou that have the boxer and brief feel but provide that good look for ladies from the outside of what your packing inside. The boxers hide that…and that’s why I abandoned them in my early college years for the more intimate boxer briefs. Of course, these will just get you laughed at by most women because they do, in fact, look almost exactly like Spandex bike shorts…especially the black ones from Hanes. Try to avoid these. Gray and white are good colors….not much else.

Wow, was I wrong, they can get even gayer.
As for the ladies, one of the greatest inventions of the 20th century was the thong. It comes in many different styles and colors and it offers a WAY HOTTER alternative underwear picture to those big, cotton, granny panties we used to have to strip off you ladies just to find that Cracker Jack prize.

Let’s face it, no one wants to see a girl leaning over the bar and realize that her hip huggers have just dropped an inch or two as her shirt slid upward to find a pair of bloomers with the tiny yellow flowers on it. My dick would shrivel up faster than a slug taking a salt bath on a hot sidewalk if a girl came into the bar looking like that. But that thong peaking out past those hip huggers and under that midriff shirt just screams SEXY. So, I say to you women…well…those of you with bodies built for sin…WEAR YOUR THONGS! And we’ll try not to embarrass ourselves any longer with tighty whities and bikini briefs.

Lawyers, city brokers, fashion models, aristocrats, politicians, corporate directors, and Prince Andrew’s female bodyguard were amongst the 300 swingers to gather a London mansion of Saturday to enjoy what was meant to be a secret VIP Sex orgy.

Sarah Cox, 26, also guards Prime Minister Tony Blair whenever he spends time at Chequers, the PM’s official country residence.

Cox and her boyfriend, PC Bernard Bourdillon, were hired to take care of security the mansion where couples paid £150 to enjoy a romp in a specially designed 20 x 14 foot steel-reinforced bed.

It wasn’t long before Cox and Bourdillon decided to throw off their own clothes to get a piece of the action themselves during the first orgy of 2005 organized for members of an elite swinger’s society that’s open only to the rich and famous throughout the world.

What Cox and Bourdillon didn’t know was that one of the UK’s tabloids had sent undercover reporters to film the scene as naked men and women got together on the pink satin covered bed and any other available surface. Whilst chatting with reporters they admitted to borrowing police metal detectors to search guests with.

The couple could now face disciplinary action.

Shame on them! You can’t just ‘borrow’ police property as and how you see fit and with the money the orgy arrangers have, they could quite easily have bought their own.

But, as much as what Cox and Bourdillon did was wrong, the reporters who ‘mingled’ with the guests were invading other people’s personal privacy and that, surely, is equally as wrong? Since when did what consenting adults do “beneath the covers” (or atop the marble tables) become a concert of the general public? Exactly what consequence could possibly justify other people’s sexual preferences being treated as ‘news’?

A sickening desire for sensationalism combined with an unhealthy smattering of jealousy is the most obvious answer.

The tabloids appeal to a section of society that’s generally unable to enjoy the luxuries of VIPs so what could be better than to publicly humiliate those we envy? Reversed snobbery, plain and simple.

Apart from the use of police property, nothing was reported that might not have happened in any street, in any town, in any country. There was no proof that illegal drugs were taken and no minors were involved. What then, was the problem?

Reporting the misconduct surrounding the metal detectors would be considered acceptable practice. To quote what was said by guests at the ‘party’ when they had no idea they were even being interviewed is inexcusable but to print stills from the secret film as well, that’s despicable.

And to think stories like these sell newspapers!

Sex by Video
Action!
By Strawberry
The video camera is considered a revolutionary piece of equipment and though it’s task is rather simple for modern day minds to comprehend, it has seized untold tales, revitalized history and reformed politics. For you and I it simply means a way for us to capture birthdays, weddings and summers by the pool. But have you ever thought about using it as a method for sexual improvement?
Join me now as I take you on a brief journey of the video camera à The Art of Perfecting Sex.
First, there is the introduction of light.
Sex in the dark is, come lei dice, boring. In order to maximize your sexual enjoyment, I feel, you need to be able to see it. Visualizing sex will increase the arousal. This helps to explain why porn is craved within our society. People, in general, want to see the act take place. I don’t believe you would be able to see much of a porn video if it was taped in the complete dark. So, light a few candles, turn on the lamp or in my case, on occasion, the ceiling fan. Now that there is light in the room, you and your lover can see one another. Both of you should try to be more visually appealing for the other. For you men, this means, she knows there is no hiding in the dark and that she is about to be video taped.
This is when she will find it necessary to fix her hair, put on her makeup and dress provocatively for you. I implore you to encourage her to visit Frederick’s of Hollywood’s Website. Their sensual risqué outfits are now available in all sizes. It is a discreet way for her to purchase the items and easier, considering that catalog ordering takes longer and they personally don’t have many stores nationwide. I am however, fortunate enough, to have one 5 minutes away and I count my blessings for that. Whatever you do - don’t hesitate to wear clothing. There’s something sexy in your lover removing your belt with her mouth. So, though the birthday suit is your eventual outcome, try not to start it that way. Make it interesting. Next, she’s eye candy and you find yourself standing behind the tripod fumbling around. Aside, from the awkwardness, if this is the first time video taping yourselves, there is a silence in the room. So you can hear one another nervously breathing. How appealing? Are you sensing a bit of sarcasm? I hope so.
PLEASE put on some music.
It can be of any particular kind of genre, but be sure it fits the mood. I wouldn’t suggest putting on Manson if you plan on having a romantic and gentle love making session. Music can be a very arousing aphrodisiac if used properly. So, pick something appropriate. Loud enough to distract from the silence but low enough so that you can still hear one another. No, you are not ready to begin taping yet.
Choose a location.
Start simple, it makes sense. Last time I checked you weren’t acclaimed porn director Michael Raven, so keep it practical. It can be in the bedroom, living room, bathroom and yes even the kitchen or all of the above. But pick something comfortable, especially considering it will be your first time taping this sort of thing, and you both want to feel as relaxed as possible. So save doing it on your workbench out in the garage for another time.
Now, providing that the battery is charged and the camera is mounted on a tripod or affixed upon a counter or dresser and there is a tape in it you can begin. But don’t forget to make sure it is on. If you or her feel a bit uncomfortable with the camera being in sight, I would suggest moving it to a more discreet location or perhaps draping it, while keeping the lens exposed, with a sheet or other piece of material. I also suggest placing a piece of tape over the red light, which indicates the camera is on. Doing so may help you to mentally pass it off as the camera is not really on. This may help, so try it if you wish. As your video taping progresses and she feels more comfortable with it, try other video taping techniques. For example, hold the camera and tape her giving you handjobs or oral sex. There are no limits, so take it where you wish. It’s time for sex. I should hope you could manage this on your own without me listing a step to step guide. However, I will tell you to keep it natural, forget the camera and don’t act. You are not getting paid to have sex with your partner. Don’t stop the sexual act to fix covers or change lighting. Let it all take it’s own natural progression. In other words, keep it real. So you are finished and you have shut off the camera.
Before lighting that cigarette, if you smoke, or getting something to drink or whatever –
LABEL THE TAPE.
Trust me on this one. Not labeling a tape could land you a bit of embarrassment when you pop in the tape to show your friends a softball game and there is an image on your television of an upward view of your ceiling fan, for example.
(clears throat) Time to watch.
I wouldn’t break out the popcorn just yet. You didn’t just finish filming Cast Away. Your first time viewing yourselves can be a bit strange, to say the least. You finally get to see what your lover sees. You may not turn out to be the Adonis you imagined yourself being, but do not fret. That is precisely why you taped it in the first place. Use the tape to your advantage and don’t, I can’t say this enough, don’t shun away from using it again. Whatever you do or don’t do, try to not harshly criticize your lover too much. Oh you should have done this or oh you should have done that is not going to make her feel comfortable with doing this again. Try to keep it positive. Negativity either on criticizing yourself or your lover too much will not help either of you and will only make you both less comfortable the next time around in front of the camera. So, if there is a comment to be made, keep it positive. Listen up Copernicus, one more thing, before you take it upon yourself to start up a Website, throw your video up there and charge a viewing fee remember you’re NOT the first to think of such an idea. No, really you’re not. I would also not be so quick to share myself in that way with the rest of the world. Not, that there is anything wrong with it. I just suggest you discuss it first with your partner and keep it practical and remember anyone can view it. That means anyone – neighbors, co-workers, clients, etc. So, if you decide to do that, way out the possibilities first. Personally, I don’t hesitate being sexual but for me there is a line between being provocative and being private. I try not to cross it much. Got my point? Good, well now remember to practice everything from techniques to lighting to different apparel and the most important location location location.
Practice makes perfect. So with that in mind, to put it plainly, keep on fucking and keep on taping.

The grocery store is a feeding ground for horny women.
by : Strawberry
I decided to make April Single Men Month at the Strawberry Patch. My articles in the next few weeks will discuss where to go to find single women, what to say once you meet her, determining the relationship scale and how to go about holding on or letting go of her. So, put on some clean clothes, splash that neck with some cologne and grab your credit cards because there is a sale somewhere in your area and we’re ready to go shopping. For starters, you are probably wondering why I keep mentioning the word shopping. For you to find a woman you have to SHOP like a woman. I know that may be a bit hard for you men to do and that’s why I am here to help. Most women enjoy shopping. No shit go figure. So, it’s only logical to assume that your best shot at finding a woman would be at a food store or a mall. Yes, I know you always thought it was a local bar or dance club. This is just not so in reality. If it were, you wouldn’t have gone home alone Friday night. Would you have studdly?
The Food Store

This week, let’s dissect the food store as all women of all walks of life visit this on almost a weekly or biweekly basis. You need to know a few things first; Saturday and Sunday are prime food shopping days preferably earlier in the day between 7 AM and 2 PM. If you are looking for someone under the age of 40 I have found that most of them have an active social life and wake up rather late and would shop between 10 and 2. If they are over 40 years of age I have found they have a basic schedule that they live by and shop earlier in the day between 7 and 10 to make way for the rest of their plans such as gardening or house cleaning.
The College Years

If they are young college students it is safe to say that they would most likely not have the time nor the means to cook 4 course meals so they would buy pre-made foods. This would mean they would be found more in the frozen food isle, the canned good section of the store and the deli department. Let’s not forget the shampoo isle and don’t be hesitant to ask the young blonde beauty next to you what shampoo is better. Most of the time they enjoy rambling on and on about what makes their hair so shinny and silky. Always, respond with a compliment in this case. I would also suggest that finding a girl in this age bracket is more successful if the food store you are shopping at be within a 10-mile radius of a college or at a spring break destination. So get your maps out. Of course having a little spare cash goes along way with some teen girls
The Career Years

If they are passed the college years but under 40 they are statistically still enjoying an active social life. This doesn’t leave them with much time for baking bread from scratch but by this point they enjoy a home cooked meal and have some extra time to make it. This would mean they would be found more in the store’s bakery section, meat section and wandering through the fruits and vegetables area. Also, most women in this age bracket are into maintaining their youth and feeling healthy. So I suggest you move your shopping cart down the health and diet isle and also the beauty isle. You are bound to find a woman determining which anti-aging wrinkle cream would be best for them. Yes, it’s your time to put on that charm and interrupt their thought process by telling them how their flawless skin doesn’t need a wrinkle cream. I suggest getting a visual on her face before making such a comment. Otherwise, you might be in for a bit of a surprise when Rocky Dennis turns around to tell you thank you.
The Mature Years

If they are over 40 they have a little more time on their hands and enjoy baking their own cakes as opposed to eating store made, making their own hot dishes and unfortunately they find themselves having more aches and pains than someone younger than them. For this type of woman you would check the baking isle, the household cleaning isle and the pharmacy department. Don’t forget to check the oil isle then pick up a bottle of oil, check for the wedding band first because many women in this age bracket are married and ask her about it. No, don’t ask her “Can I use this as lube?” instead ask her what’s the difference between all of these oils. Most milfs will enjoy sharing their intellect on when and when not to use olive oil. As I have personally seen this has led to a “I make a fabulous casserole.” that gentlemen is your invitation to dinner at her place. What are you waiting for? Now, clip those coupons and go food shopping! And DON’T forget to come back in a few days to read about the mall. Ahhh yes, a woman’s temple of shopping for clothes and shoes and your gateway to finding HER.

Men, find out if your getting what you deserve.

In the continual struggle for women’s liberation, it is man who has suffered great losses. How do you ask is this possible? The answer is not as complex as one may think. Since, the beginning of time man has been feared. Notice, I say man not woman. This is because the ideal woman of past years has been to be a homemaker, a caregiver and a barer of children and in all honesty she who bakes the bread was not as feared as he who brought it home was. This was in past years. Today, women are almost where they claim they have always wanted to be. They have become empowered by the women’s liberation movement. They have become the wearers of suits. They run major corporations. They fight fires. They are leaders in political and religious organizations. They, to some extent, have become feared and they have been trained and taught to be.

Without a homemaker, man has found himself coming home after a long day of work to a messy home, no hot meal at his table setting and he awakes in the morning without a fresh set of clothes for his work day. He is though, still held to the tasks of the early days of doing yard work, taking out the trash and working on home improvements. Now added to that, he must find the strength and the time to cook meals, clean house and wash clothes. Where did man’s deal go wrong, you may ask? It didn’t. He never had one to begin with.

Politics has not been kind to man, even though the majority of those in politics are men. So why do they punish themselves? I believe that it started as a simple attempt to equalize the sexes and ended up growing into an entity of it’s own that now can not be ignored without jeopardizing a politician’s political future. How do men in politics now turn back the clock? It is difficult to do but in small advances it can be done. After all, when was the last time The National Organization for Men complained about a commercial bothering them? Come to think of it, I do not believe that The National Organization for Men ever complained about anything that has mocked them or lowered men’s self-esteem. These organizations and groups need to come together and legitimatize themselves in the eyes of the public and become an entity of it’s own that is taken as seriously as women’s groups and organizations are.

Perhaps, there is much that men can learn from women. Maybe, men need to lower their guard a bit in order to get something they want. Yes, complaining and whining do work. Ask women. A flood of letters to a manufacturer or advertising agency along with a nationally viewed press conference may be a good start. Maybe, just maybe, “That commercial offended me, as a man.” is not to far fetched and may just be the crack in the wall of the woman’s liberation movement that they are looking for.

My hope is that within the near future, in the eyes of the lawmakers and law shakers, all men will be an equal to me and will receive the same consideration by the Federal government and local governments when their feelings are hurt or ignored. Something must be done and done quickly. Otherwise, the future holds for man the promise that he will need his own liberation movement to get out from under the pile of laundry - of women’s clothes