18 yrs vs Milf
“That’s what I love about high school girls, I get older, they stay the same age.”
- Matthew McConaughey’s character in Dazed & Confused
Women in general are fascinating because one minute, they can be the source of great pleasure for men. Then the next minute, they can make you miserable. Guys, it’s time to give back the same sort of treatment.
Let’s say you are a 25-27 year old man. You have a decent-paying job. You are a decent looking guy. Sure you could use more money, you could always be happier, but in general, things are not that bad. Come Friday night, you go out with your buddies to your local watering hole, looking to a meet a chick. And yet, you seem to fail in your attempts.
Naturally you might start to doubt yourself. The women you want to meet, the good-looking ones with personality seem to ignore you. Meanwhile the only females who seem willing to talk to you are overweight; older women euphimistically named milf who keep one eye on you and the other on your unfinished plate of chicken fingers.
Gentlemen, unless you have a complete and utter lack of social skills (and if you fit that description, just stay the fuck home and out of our way, you take up valuable space at the bar) I’d like to think that eventually you’ll meet someone. But why go the conventional route? Why this post-college urge to suddenly “mature?” If you are 32 and looking to settle down, that’s fine. But if you are 25, what’s the rush? Why go for some girl your own age, some twat whose interest in you is dependent on your bank account balance?
To date 18 year old girls is like getting in on the ground floor of a good neighborhood before it gets overrun by hipster, trendy faggots. 18-year-old girls are young and freshly scrubbed. They are not yet wise in the ways of the world.(Translation=Naïve) Even if they’re in college, they probably haven’t put on the dreaded “freshman 15” yet. (And if they have, dump their dumb ass, they should know better)
Think about it, we all knew that one girl in college. She was hot, but got treated like shit by some meathead. Eventually she got some self –esteem, and now only dates older, more mature men, men who will treat her right. Men who will pay for everything, and won’t smack her around in a drunken rage when they lose cash on the Super Bowl.
AVOID THIS KIND OF GIRL AT ALL COSTS!!!!
Leave this particular kind of muff to the older man who is willing to put up with her so long as she won’t reveal the affair to his wife. Rather, go for the 18 (And I stress 18, don’t commit statutory) year old chick who is so thrilled about dating an older guy that she is willing to overlook certain flaws, like your habit of not calling when you say you will.
In general, (and I know this from experience) the 18-year old is willing to please. She’ll put out whenever you want it. Chances are, she’ll probably be tighter and more willing to please than a girl your age. OK that might be a stretch considering teens are having a lot of sex these days, but even if she’s not a virgin, so what? Date her anyway. Occasionally show her your experience in bed by giving her an orgasm. Biff from her Bio class probably would not know how to do that.
If you ask, she’ll cancel her plans for a movie and then ice cream at Friendly’s with the cheerleading squad to come cook you dinner. So what if she’s too young to remember the Reagan administration?
You will actually be doing this girl a favor by dating her. Her friend Becky might be dating the star HS quarterback, but what’s she going to do when he gets grounded? You don’t have that problem. Plus, your young piece of ass will be the coolest girl in homeroom when she reveals she’s dating someone who is actually old enough to get into bars.
That leads me to my next point. If you date the 18-year-old, she won’t be able to get into bars. If she has a fake ID, discourage her to use it. Warn her that to do so is to risk a long prison sentence. This way, you can go hang out with your buddies and get loaded, and possibly cheat on this girl, and she’ll never be the wiser. While you are out doing body shots off some girl who just turned 21; your chick will be at home picking out a prom dress.
Or you could go the opposite route. If she has a fake ID that actually works, bring her out. Encourage her to dress like an extra in a Britney Spears video. Make your buddies envious. Emphasize that you are saving your own money to buy a house, and that she’ll have to dip into her babysitting cash to buy you beers. Either way you win.
If after reading this, you are ready to date a younger chick, I wish you luck. Eventually the appeal might wear off and you might find yourself wanting more than hot sex and love letters written from Home Ec class. When that happens, don’t feel ashamed. It’s the maturity blues kicking in. Until then, run, don’t walk to your nearest mall and start scouting out potential conquests. Lure them in with promises of TRL tickets if you must. Just don’t be a jackass and go for the 16-year olds, yeah that shit will probably be tight, but its also illegal. And it’s not worth a prison sentence. 18 is young enough. Just remember young and dumb equals more fun.
