Pigskins, Laces & Pucks

by user | March 17, 2005 5:12 am

So now it has become clear to even the people with their heads in the sand(the pollies) that drugs and steriods[1] are rife in Sport.Its a bit shallow to condemn with affront when we all know that the driving force behind all the one upmanship that the athletes are trying to put over each other is..
Greed.
The downfall of civilizations and empires, but will it also be the demise of such an indestructible superpower we have all come to accept as “Professional Sports”? Our retired Super-heroes of the glory days are left wondering; “Where are my stripper filled pool parties in the back yard of my mansion?”. Greed has shattered the hearts of us fans as well as pillaged our wallets to an all time low. For the money spent keeping crybaby athletes “comfortable”, they should start making house visits to satisfy the lust of horny housewives. Rappers make livings of such lavish lifestyles.

Believe it or not, there are a few professional athletes on top of their game, who will tend to a city’s sporting needs regardless of contract depth; however, the team has to show gratitude in the contract offer. Let us not be ridiculous now. Had I been blessed with the gifts that some of these genetic freaks possess, I would damn well want to see the money too. Some players on the ice, fields, tracks, etc. still feel the fury of the crowd and play strictly to make voices be lost; however, their numbers are rapidly dwindling due to the evil “Paychecks” hunting them to extinction. Our pastimes are swiftly becoming just a way for athletically inclined human beings to hit the lottery.

Enough of the bagpipes, let’s get down to the facts here. “Sure I like the Mets. That’s where I want to be. I love the New York atmosphere. It’ would be great to play there.” HEY, wouldn’t you know it; just a short time after comments like those; “I have decided to sign with the Texas Rangers.” Wow, what a coincidence. He must have felt Texas was So great, that he didn’t even want to mention playing there because he did not want to jinx it. There is not a chance on God’s green earth that a 247 million-dollar contract had any influence on the deal. In all honesty, it had to be the school system down there for his future children. Mr. Mike Hampton knows all about putting his financial needs on the shelf for the good of his children. His Mega-bucks deal had nothing to do with his lure away from the Mets. From recent performances I believe he should put his pitching first while he is in the majors, and have his wife handle the well being of his children. It is only a matter of time before the Rockies land him in court for Grand Larceny.

“I shall not play for the Flyers. I will only play for the Toronto Maple Leafs.” What Mr. Lindros was trying to say, (Had his head not been mangled into Swiss cheese), is that he shall play for the highest bidder. Welcome to the deep pocketed NY Rangers. Hope you like heartbreak to go along with your Athletes Foot[2].

Ok, not all pro athletes are fixated on greenbacks. For everyone of these assholes there is a Brett Favre, Garrison Hearst, Ray Bourque, Cal Ripken Jr., Dan Marino, and so many more. Pure athletes who play for their fans and pride in being the best at what they do. These are the athletes who us, the fans, come out to see. Superstars leaving it ALL on the field. Y.A. Tittle, The catch, Walk off grand slams, spectacular season salvaging saves, game winning three-pointers from Downtown! There is no better feeling than leaving a game with shot vocal chords, and I’ll be damned if I’ll so much as waste a simple clap on the sticky fingered, selfish, Eric Lindros’ of pro sports.

HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!!

Pay our athletes on a tier system. They make what they earn. Payment based on performance. “Own” your position and own a hefty paycheck the following season. Exceptions shall only be made for franchise players stuck on crap teams, i.e. Cal Ripken. Oh yeah, bye bye free agency. If you hold out, you are tossed out, and that means the league, not just the team you are shafting.

Installing a system similar to this idea should eliminate fans from having to learn completely altered rosters at the start of fresh seasons. Most importantly it will change the “My dick is bigger than yours”, paycheck seekers, to “My GAME is bigger than yours.”

Athletes should step back and realize that it is mostly blue collared guys paying them millions to play a friggin game. Pro athletes need to start playing for their teams and cities.Take their inspiration from the Blind Sports[3] Assoc Athletes need to begin playing for the Fans.
Jeremy Stursberg

Endnotes:
  1. steriods: http://www.newsinsider.org/editorials/The_Sydney_Summer_Olympics_2.html
  2. Athletes Foot: http://www.theathlete.org/
  3. Blind Sports: http://www.canadianblindsports.org

Source URL: http://www.newsinsider.org/12/pigskins-laces-pucks/